Obamorabilia: Denver Edition

Barack Obama will go down in history for, among other things, being the president who lent his image to the most merchandise. If his economic stimulus doesn't work, hopefully at least Americans will buy enough Obama-themed objects to put the economy back on track. Obamathon Man chronicles the popular trends, the quirky deviations and the utterly tasteless byproducts of Obama mania in a series known as Obamorabilia.

Obamathon Man comes from a bookish family, and has a keen interest in literature himself. There's so many books in my blood that after I die my corpse will be recycled. So I've been to many of the bookstores of the Denver area, and each of them has one book well stocked and prominently displayed: Democratic National Convention 2008: Obama's Mile High Moment. The book is loaded with glossy photos, includes shots of prominent democrats and our new friend Hick. There is heavy coverage of protests which took place, including a shot of an anarchist swollen from pepper spray. Plenty of got snaps of Obama's closing night speech as well. A 72 page book, it lists for $15.95, a price that can only be described as "Mile High Markup". But on Amazon the price is $10.85, a fair price for any Demorcat or Denverite.

THE OBAMATHON GUIDE.™ Part 1: Is It Safe?

After a brief break from The Obamathon Guide: an Inaugural Guide to Washington DC, Obamathon Man is back at it, beginning in earnest his definitive guide to the 2009 inauguration of President-Elect Barack Obama. Yeah, I know there are some other guides, and official guides, but what do the so-called "locals" or "officials" really know? My advice is not to trust fancy websites and stick to the hard-hitting inauguration guide you know and love: The Obamathon Guide.

In Part 1, Obamathon Man turns his attention to inauguration safety. Astute readers of Obamathon Man will recognize the reference to my namesake, Marathon Man, a film in which an evil ex-Nazi posing as a dentist ironically asks the main character, "Is it safe?", before beginning a painful tooth-oriented procedure. While the inauguration promises to have a dearth of ex-Nazis and (hopefully) dentists, many inaugural visitors find themselves asking the same question in light of projected record crowds, "Is it safe?"

First off, ticketed front-row visitors will want to really make sure not to have anything on the prohibited list:

"Firearms and ammunition (either real or simulated, explosives of any kind (including fireworks), knives, blades, or sharp objects (of any length), mace and/or pepper spray, sticks or poles, pocket or hand tools, such as “Leatherman”, packages, backpacks, large bags, duffel bags, suitcases, thermoses, coolers, strollers, umbrellas (pray for sunny weather),laser pointers, signs, posters, animals (other than service animals), alcoholic beverages [damn], other items that may pose a threat to the security of the event as determined by and at the discretion of the security screeners"

For front row visitors, you will also have to pass through a metal detector and be patted down. So if security asks if that's a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see them, make sure you're happy. Although general mall visitors aren't subject to such stringent requirements, and at this point it doesn't look like there will be checkpoints(subject to change), security will be beefed up, and it would be better not to have suspicious looking items. You don't want to give an excuse for the armed forces, secret service, municipal police, and other arrestocrats to get cuff-happy.

The parade route also has a list of prohibited items, which include "bicycles, backpacks, aerosols (which could include Silly String), coolers, thermal containers and chairs." Also, "Signs or placards can be brought to the parade, but only if they're made of cardboard, poster board or cloth and are not more than 3 feet by 20 feet." Looks like the Obama-Gram program is still on!

For those of you with items on the verboten list who don't have the option of leaving those items in the hotel, car, or your buddy's apartment, there are lockers available at DC's Union Station. In the past, Amtrak has limited its lockers to passengers, though this may change for the inauguration. However, just like everything during the inauguration, lockers are subject to overcrowding and overpricing. For more info, go to the Union Station website or call 202 289 1908.


View Larger Map

Official road closures have been announced, as have vehicle restriction guidelines. The secret service has also listed entry points to the parade route and cautioned: "All attendees, including general public and ticketed guests, are subject to a thorough security screening before entering the Inaugural parade route, the White House reviewing stand and the Inaugural balls. Please allow for additional time for this security screening, as it is expected that lines may be long." Thanks, SS! Way to earn your coily earpieces. Here's the complete list of entry points for the parade route:

- 2nd Street NW and C Street NW
- 3rd Street NW and C Street NW
- Indiana Avenue NW between 6th St NW and 7th St NW
- 7th Street NW and D Street NW
- 10th Street NW and E Street NW
- 12th Street NW and E Street NW
- E Street NW just east of 13th Street NW
- 13th Street NW just North of E Street NW
- 14th Street NW just North of E Street NW
- 12th Street NW between Constitution Avenue. and Pennsylvania Avenue
- 10th Street NW between Constitution Avenue. and Pennsylvania Avenue
- 7th Street NW between Constitution Avenue. and Pennsylvania Avenue
- Constitution Avenue between 6th Street NW and 7th Street NW

To avoid run-ins with the law, avoid carrying large or suspicious-looking objects, and avoid doing things that would draw attention to yourself. If you are stopped by law enforcement, remain calm and do not provoke hostilities. You have nothing to gain and everything to lose. If you are arrested, know your rights, and don't say anything until you have a lawyer present. The Washington based group Flex Your Rights has a good list of resources for dealing with law enforcement, including DC-specific advice.

Since the inauguration is going to be a large gathering, the chance of violent crime is going to be relatively low. However, be aware of pickpockets, petty thieves, or grifters. Leave valuables behind if possible, wear pants with button-up pockets or keep your wallet somewhere hard to reach, and keep bags or purses close by. If someone unfamiliar asks for money or asks you strange questions, say no and walk away; it could be a setup.

Most importantly, stay calm and enjoy yourself. With a minimumum of self-preservation, you can enjoy the inauguration. See you in DC.


THE OBAMATHON GUIDE.™
Introduction (history, crowd density)
Part 1: Is It Safe?
Part 2: Crush Hour(Transportation, Getting to DC, Getting to the Mall, the Metro)
Part 3: When Nature Calls (restrooms, sanitation)
Part 4: Phone Frenzy (Cell phones, texting, finding lost friends)
Part 5: Food for Thought (Food, sack lunches, vendors, restaurants)
Part 6: Got Balls? (Inaugural balls, dress codes, bars)

Links for 12/26

What bible verse will Obama pick? Hopefully, not Leviticus 18:22(CNN)
Coping with donor limits (LA Times)
NYPD too good for inauguration(NY Times)
Warrengate: an anti-anti-Rick Warren perspective (ONN)
For those who'd rather spend the inauguration in NYC, Trinity Church to ring bells as Obama takes office (NY Downtown Express)

Loopy for Hickenlooper

Back in 2004, the American people were introduced to the self-proclaimed "skinny kid with a funny name": Illinois Sen. Barack Obama. It certainly was a funny name, and oddly enough, funny names seem to have less trouble becoming household names. Fast forward four years to the 2008 Democratic convention. As Barack Obama prepared to accept the Democrats' nomination for president, the skinny kid with a funny name this time was not really a kid, but worked tirelessly to bring the convention to his hometown of Denver: John Hickenlooper.

Just as Chicago is famous for "the Loop", Denver is famous for Hickenlooper, its mayor. He took office in 2003, and has since launched numerous programs, including aid for the homeless, improved transit, and green incentives which have bolstered the city's reputation. I had known that Hickenlooper (or as they affectionately refer to him here, Hick) was mayor for a few years now, owing to my Denverite relatives. But I didn't know exactly what he was doing until the convention came around, and Denver became the darling of purple state-hungry Democratic electioneers.

Upon visiting my family this time around, I actually learned that a couple who were old friends of our family had close connections with Hick. We all had planned a get together at our house, and they were nice enough to stop by. After brief chit chat between them and our family, I casually asked them a few questions, thrilled to be talking with people inside the Hickenloop.

First off, they had been able to work their connections to get seats for Obama's speech in back in August. Not good seats, but seats. I asked them what the convention had been like, they said it was slightly wilder than a typical Broncos game, but knowing Broncos fans, that's saying something. They also said that Hick had gotten the idea to bring the DNC to Denver early on, and had worked diligently to make sure it happened. They said he was a nice guy, a friendly guy who had helped them in the past.

He had been roommates to one of them when they were just out of college, and was responsible for introducing the two of them. He had originally been trained as a geologist, but lost his job during a recession in Denver. In the early 90's, he took his savings and co-founded the Wynkoop Brewery in LoDo, then a sketchy factory wasteland and now a fully gentrified swingin hood with its own baseball stadium. Since he took over the Mayorship, Hick has done the same thing for the entire reputation of Denver. One of them told me that her out of town friends used to chuckle when she told them about Denver. Now, they nod politely.

They were very friendly about my formal line of questioning, and had nothing but good things to say about Hick. They told me that if I had been here two weeks earlier I could have stopped by his annual Christmas party and said hello. Too bad.

Later I heard some in my family, who heard rumors of Hick having a wild side when he was younger. I didn't really get to ask the couple along those lines, but at this point Hick seems to be anything but wild. He has been longtime friends with Colorado's Sen. Ken Salazar, and has expressed interest in filling Salazar's now vacant seat. Could Hick be a White Obama? Maybe, but I'm sure everyone in Denver will be sad to see their hometown hero go. If anything, Hickenlooper proves that "change" is not just about Obama. It's about the work one mayor has done, and that all mayors (including Tony V back home), officials, and citizens will be able to do. I never thought I'd say this, but hopefully in the future we'll all be Hicks.

New Photos on Flickr

There's some new photos on the Obamathon Man flickr page. I posted most of the Utah/Colorado set, and there are some interesting shots, if I do say so myself. Check em out!

Obama-Gram: Make Your Voice Heard at the Inauguration!

Today is Christmas, and Obamathon Man would like to take this opportunity to thank all my visitors for stopping by. I would also like to announce the launch of a new Obamathon Man feature: Obama-Gram: Make Your Voice Heard!

Have something you want to say at the inauguration? Want your message to be seen personally by Barack Obama at the inauguration? Obamathon Man is now accepting any and all messages from his visitors in a new comment section on the main page. Comments will be accepted until 6:00 PM, Pacific Standard Time (West Coast Represent!), January 18, 2008. I will painstakingly look over each of your comments, and do the following:

• Print each comment on a giant poster, and personally stake out a position as close to the parade route as is possible. I will fight tooth and nail for a good spot, even if it means losing all my teeth and nails. Your Message will be seen!


• Read through each message on a bullhorn, megaphone, or whatever amplification device is permitted during the inauguration, during the parade.


• Print each message on a commemorative leaflet, available free of charge to all spectators at the inauguration. Your voice will be heard by your fellow countrymen!


• Assemble a video clip displaying each message, and post the video online, accompanied by relevant images and footage as the case may be. The video will not be made available until after the inauguration, but it will still be cool.


• Select politically relevant messages and assemble them into a separate print and video presentation, to be submitted to change.gov as well as directly to the offices of state and federal representatives, and presidential cabinet members.


• Publish a general report on February 20, 2009, one month after the inauguration, chronicling where each of the messages have been heard, the reactions they have goten, and the effects they have brought about.

Note: Profanities will be represented with asterisks: f***, etc. Unnecessarily violent or sexually explicit messages will be edited. Advertising/Spam and redundant messages or identical reposts will be ignored. Messages longer than 500 words will be shortened for the poster, but preserved for all other media. Foreign language messages will be reprinted in their original form and accompanied by an auto translation into English. Messages will be accepted from the comments section in this post, and a specifically designated comments section on the main page

So here's your chance: be a part of this historic inauguration! Send your message in today, and see the change you create. Obamathon Man salutes you and whatever you have to say!

Speechifizing

Tis the night before Christmas, and the biggest news is that some paparazzo took pictures of Obama strutting around without a shirt. But of greater concern to Obamathon Man is the latest archival project from the Library of Congress, who are seeking

"Audio and video recordings of sermons and orations that comment on the significance of the inauguration of 2009. It is expected that such sermons and orations will be delivered at churches, synagogues, mosques and other places of worship, as well as before humanist congregations and other secular gatherings."

While I can appreciate the preservationist urge many of us feel, it seems a bit unfair of the LoC to limit their search just to sermons. If they really are looking for all types of orations, why don't they also look to the libraries, universities, parks, and other places where noteworthy observations are being made. Hell, why not look to the comedy clubs or the concert venues? While I respect the services offered by churches, synagogues, mosques, temples, and humanist congregations (however that works), I think that significant orations about the inauguration (inauguorations!) are happening everywhere, and it would be unfair to limit the search for them. High minded things can be said in low places.

So Merry Christmas to all, and make sure you stuff the LoC's stockings with anything you view to be a significant inauguoration, no matter who gave it or where it was given.

Changing Fuel, Fueling Change

Yesterday afternoon, a family member showed us around his lab here in Denver (he's a physicist). It's a fairly sophisticated operation, and several employees were present, even this close to Christmas. A young woman with glasses and a bun worked the front desk, she was polite but clearly had her hands full with scheduling. We grabbed safety goggles as we entered the work area, but at this point they weren't necessary since nothing really dangerous was going on.

One of the lab techs came over to talk to us. His name was Dan, and he was happy to talk about what was going on here at the lab. There were several benches full of drills, hammers, welding torches, small stoves, and other relevant tools. At the center of everything was a roughly 8x8x16 foot rectangular assemblage of steel tubes. If this wasn't a laboratory, the structure could easily pass as playground equipment. However it became clear that it was intended as a container for some large scale apparatus.

Dan warmed up when he learned that I was about to graduate from the alma mater of a friend of his. Somehow, the topic of discussion abruptly turned to theoretical physics, which as it turns out is not very popular with practical physicists. Dan didn't like the fact that the theories of theoretical physics were not falsifiable and were difficult to test. I asked him if this had anything to do with the Large Hadron Collider, which I almost referred to accidentally as the "Large Hard-On Collider". Not being a theoretical physicist, he didn't know, or really care. But he did admit that theoretical physics was great for science fiction.

I asked him what was going to be housed within the massive tube system, and he said that it would house machinery to convert the thousands of trees afflicted by pine beetles into charcoal. While this charcoal could be used as fuel, in this case it would be used as a fertilizer which would also remove carbon from the atmosphere. Apparently, the charcoal can also be used to neutralize the damage done by mine tailings, which mine companies prefer to call "peripheral leavings" but scientists refer to in many cases as "toxins".

I then asked about if he thought Obama would be good for alternative fuel development companies like the one he was working for. He absolutely thought Obama would improve the state of alternative fuel in the US, pointing out that Obama dilligently went about creating a "brain trust" who would take an effective course of action many different issues. I agreed, a brain trust would certainly be better than the previous executive, who didn't trust brains. In particular, Dan was enthusiastic that Ken Salazar, formerly one of Colorado's senators, had been named as Secretary of the Interior. He was so enthusiastic that he accidentally referred to him as "Secretary of State".

At this point we had to leave, but I was happy to have had the chat. Even though gas prices have dropped, we still need to start working on building up other sources of energy. Government investment in private research is a good way to establish more effective energy sources, as has already happened in Brazil, and it's also good for our economy. Hopefully, Dan will be doing what he's doing for a long time.